I feel that this is a most pertinent time for this particular blog as the University semesters in America are drawing to a close and the madness of finals is upon us. In fact, as I write this it is 12:30am and I am amidst studying for a final myself. No, no, not a spring final, a fall final that I decided to skip because in Israel we get two opportunities to take finals and well... it was raining out and I didn't really feel all that up to commuting at 6am. A wise friend just said to me (and I am sure you are all thinking this as well) "Ariel, don't write the blog - go to sleep, you have a final tomorrow." Appropriate as this advice may be, I feel that by pushing this off until tomorrow I will not be able to truly express the desperation that we all feel when it is crunch time. So here I sit, trying to differentiate between notable figures in the history of the modern Middle East (why the hell couldnt they use a name other then Muhammed... oh wait, they do, Mahmud. Thanks a lot... jackasses). My eyes slowly dry and become bloodshot, and my vision begins to blur as I read the same lines over and over again, comprehending nothing. And ever so slowly as my thoughts drift from the Balta-Liman agreement to bargaining, my eyes drift from the computer screen filled with pertinent information upwards to the clouds, in the most utilized study method of all time - The heavenly plea.
I suppose a good way to proceed would be to express my opinion on testing in general. First an anecdote. In 9th grade I was placed in the Honors Geometry class, why I have no idea because math is not my forte (which is a fancy way of saying I completely suck at it). As we poured over theories and proofs, a desperate student like myself asked the most frequently asked question in all of education "Are we going to have to memorize this for the test?" My initial reaction was to scoff at the inquiring student. When has there ever been a test when you didn't have to commit the material to memory? The response given by the teacher demolished my perception of test taking forever. His short response "No. " When witnessing the shock and awe of the class members he followed up his earth shattering comment with this sentiment. "An architect doesn't memorize these equations, and it is his job to know them. Why should you have to?" He proceeded to tell us that we could all bring notecards to any exam, because the essence of the test was to understand our application of the concepts. And from that moment on I have spent hours wondering how is it that one of the most time honored traditions of education from first grade through university, could be so stupid? In so many tests we are merely asked to spit back the information we have learned and not actually form our own opinion, or even express the relevance of that material to anywhere outside of the classroom. Now of course some courses cannot be considered relevant in day to day life (example: History of the Modern Middle East), but even in this test the questions should not revolve around me spitting back names and dates but on the overarching themes learned by those facts. Admittedly this is a major aspect of the test, but all I can see is the depth of analysis I would be able to achieve were I not stressing my brain to remember the tiniest details out of fear (born from the very real possibility) that it will be an unavoidable question on the test. Will this question be my downfall? If so, how will the grade received be in any way a reflection of the skills I gained in the class? Will this cause me to not get into a graduate school I want to attend? And whatever happened to the Funky Bunch after Marky Mark decided to become an actor? These are the questions that plague me as I heat up the water and pour my next cup of coffee.
People (read: parents and teachers) will say to me, "Ariel this wouldn't be an issue if you hadn't procrastinated - you wouldn't have to cram facts in if you were memorizing them all along. " Well that is a big fat lie, I've tried the whole 'keep up with the syllabus' method of study and it just doesn't work. There is so much material on a day to day basis that there is no way I will remember in detail what I learned at meeting number 1 by the end of the semester. And so I slip into the though process of "what do I need to know for the test." It shouldn't take a genius to understand the incongruousy of this sentiment. We the students only take from class what we feel is necessary for us to pass the exam, not whatever higher purpose the class could serve. I am not attempting to shift the blame, but I believe this deficiency in our education is because we are a product of our environment.
Until reforms on testing methods are made, every student (even that one kid that is always studying) will eventually begin to subscribe to the modern form of education which is cramming. When immersed in a situation where 100% of our education revolves around a test, we all lose the feeling of importance of paying attention to class. Especially with the increasing amount of distractions, our work gets left by the wayside. Why do reading now when I can do it before the test? I'm not going to remember it anyways and I really only need it then. You've all thought it. And so we procrastinate, and the work piles up but we are blinded by Solitare and Hearts and trying to raise our Freecell stats (Apple users, I would apologize but I don't care about you and your elitist attitude and awesome computers that probably have way cooler time wasting games that we cant even borrow and play because no one knows how to use the damn thing). Finally we reach exams and here we are, back at the beginning of this blog.
So what advice do I have for everyone out there? Not a lot, everyone has their own cramming style. In fact, one of the greatest benefits our flawed education system probably has is teaching you your cramming style. We will all reach a point in life when we have to think fast and work even faster, and these are even more likely to be the times when doing a, I won't say good... but good enough, job matters most. And so we will rely on our skills picked up from cramming and we will succeed. But for those of you who do seek advice, those who are feeling the clammy forehead of the desperate, those who can feel the hopelessness causing their skin to tingle, those with clairvoyant images of yourself 50 years from now working at a gas station, I can offer one thing. Not aderol or ritalin, I don't do that thing (though I do derive an infinite amount of amusement laughing at the hypocrisy of the 'smart kids' who will turn their nose up at their friends who have tried pot, and then turn around and pop a pill for a better grade. Substance abuse is substance abuse... but thats a different blog for a different time.), I can offer a prayer. They (I really have no idea who) say that there is no Atheist in a foxhole, there is also no Atheist 5 minutes before an exam - except maybe a philosophy exam. Athetsts are pretentious jerks anyways, so who cares? Not me. But I'm getting off topic again. And so I present "The Psalm for the Despairing"
[A brief historical note, while not appearing in the book of Psalms itself, this particular Psalm is numbered as Psalm Chapter 151, though its inscription probably occurred along with the earlier 100's. Its lack of appearance is accredited to the fact that the Psalmist too was rushing to make a deadline, which inspired the Psalm itself, and was taken out during the canonization to protect the image of the Psalmist so that he would not appear just as sluggish when it came to getting work done as the rest of us all are.]
A Psalm for the Despairing:
A song of Desperation, for the hopeless.
In the image of God we were created by God, bestowed with knowledge and intellect
And in the image of a snail did man come to shape himself.
Oh blessed Lord, who sent Abraham a ram to relieve him of his test,
instill in me your infinite wisdom, if only for this moment.
The Lord is my shepard who guideth me on the path of the just,
unfortunately he does not guideth me from distraction, which is abundant and plentiful.
I make an oath on the graves of my fathers and submit to thee:
No longer will I spendeth nights pursuing the fleeting joys of pushing livestock on its side
I really really promise to be on top of things next time,
after this a new leaf I turneth over.
Just please sendeth a miracle and let me get through this right now.
